ELDERLY COUPLE

"A lovely elderly couple in Bali"

I overheard Rico, our pot-bellied apartment manager, refer to us as
"the elderly couple upstairs."

What?!
How dare he?!

Phil may be elderly, but not me!!!!

I'm about to tell Rico, "Hey, I'll race you around the block.  

We'll see who is the elderly then."

Unfortunately it's happened before.

The first time someone called us that was in Bali where we ran a guest house.

A young woman from Singapore wrote in her travel blog that she stayed with
"a lovely elderly couple."

Ouch ouch ouch!

One more insult and I'll go back to painting my hair red and yellow!

Or maybe I should start wearing a wig

Anything to escape being called elderly!

FOOLS ARE WELCOME HERE

 

From left to right: Phil, Kim and Clarence

Phil knows how to choose his friends.  They gather once a month for an evening of male-bonding.  They don't usually come in costume, but the theme last night was the archetype of the Fool/Clown/Jester.  I suspect it was at Phil's suggestion.  He likes that kind of thing.  He has gone through two clown outfits, a monk's robe, and a Zulu Warrior costume (hilarious with his white skin).  Unfortunately for him, my habit of giving things away every time we move is not conducive for fulfilling his theatrical needs.

Meet Phil Bonkers!

 Figuring out how the phone works, guys?

Aren't Kim's teeth the ultimate in sex appeal?

They made him talk like Gomer Pyle.

Two members of the Men's Group could not make it.  

See what you missed, Michel and Joe? 

Why don't you two come as Darth Vader next time?

WHERE IS TARZAN WHEN YOU NEED HIM?

 

Our low-rise apartment building has no elevator, which is fine of course except when you get a notice two days before the event that the stairs will be painted and that nobody is to use them from 8:00 am to 6:00 pm.  

How about painting one half first, the other later?

No, the Board of Directors wants them painted all at once.

Okiedokie then.  

Where is Tarzan when you need him?

Since Phil has not quite mastered the art of levitation and is not agile enough to climb over our lanai railing and jump to the ground, he made arrangements with our first floor neighbor Jason to stay at his apartment, so Phil can come and go to keep his various appointments.  Thank you, Jason!  

We owe Jason so many dinners now, it's not funny.  I told him we'll take him out to any restaurant he fancies, but no, he insists on only homemade dinners, even after I tell him that it's a lousy idea (and perhaps a dangerous one) and that I have a sign in the kitchen that says JUST SAY NO TO COOKING.  Still, he won't relent.  

I should make him oatmeal.  

Organic, of course.

I don't have anything scheduled other than my writing today, so I'm staying holed up inside until 6:00 pm when I have to meet with my Hussies Writing Group.  Pardon me, our full name is The Shameless Hussies Writing Group.  This elite group is made up of writers like AA (stands for Alice Anne, not Alcoholics Anonymous), Victoria, Susan, Sabra and yours truly.  We grew up during the years of sex, drugs and Rock 'n Roll.  What can I say?  Read our memoirs when they get published (if they get published).

Oops, my phone's ringing.  It's Phil.  He's back in Jason's apartment and he's hungry.  What?  Jason didn't prepare lunch for him?  Just beer in the fridge?  Okay, I'll fix something for you, Phil.  Here it is:

Delivering Phil's lunch, wrapped in a bag, and dropped down at the end of a scarf. 

 Who needs stairs?

UPDATE: WAIKIKI BEACH RESTORATION

In my previous post I wrote that the area of restoration stretched from the Duke Kahanamoku statue to past the Royal Hawaiian Hotel.  I copied that from the paper without thinking.  Geez!  I know better.  

The project really starts from the pier off Kapahulu Avenue, and at the moment goes as far as the Prince Kuhio statue.  They've been at it for a month already and they haven't even reached Duke's statue yet, their supposed starting point.  Go figure.  If they go as far as the Royal Hawaiian and beyond (and if they don't run out of money), the projected end date of April 14 begins to sound a bit optimistic.  Unless they mean 2013.  Or am I getting too cynical?

Allow me to indulge in my fetish for heavy machinery:

I hope the sun will eventually bleach the sand and clean it.

Toy trucks.  A boy's dream!

And the beach goes on...

APOLOGIES TO TOURISTS: WAIKIKI BEACH RESTORATION, BROWN WATER & POT HOLES

USA TODAY carried an article on the $2.3 million Waikiki beach restoration project. 

The goal is to widen the beach with off-shore sand by about 37 feet.  The area involved stretches from the Duke Kahanamoku statue at Kuhio beach past the Royal Hawaiian Hotel.  According to KHON2:  “… [T]hat means three trucks hauling sand 7 a.m. to noon, seven days a week to April 14.”  

To quote USA TODAY: 

“The area's shoreline is eroding 1 to 2 feet per year, letting water rush into seawalls and a hotel restaurant bar during south shore swells and peak high tide.

 View from the pier.

I think this is the ship that's collecting the sand for the beach

“The state used a similar method to replenish the sand at Kuhio Beach — a stretch of Waikiki next to the current target area — in 2006, reports the Associated Press. That effort pumped only 10,000 cubic yards of sand, or less than half of the current proposal.”

 

Mountains of gray sand.

These pictures were taken quite a few weeks ago before the storm.

AFTER THE STORM:
Some pictures of the Northshore

Run-off turned blue waters brown

 

 

Chinaman Hat in brown water

 I did not take pictures of any pot holes, but there were some epic ones.
Here's a photo of a mountain of storm trash, heaped by the side of the road

TWO BROADS & A BEETLE

EZ putting on lipstick

Kris putting on lipstick

Beetle needs no lipstick

The two broads are EZ and Kris.  The Beetle is Kris’ car, a cream-colored 2010 VW Beetle.  Kris likes to drive.  EZ likes to be driven.  Together they go on so-called field trips around the island of O’ahu, Hawai’i.   Routes are chosen at the whim of the Beetle.

Both broads are artists and writers with a taste for things that are slightly off.  You’re invited to follow them along on their spur-of-the-moment jaunts and directionless wanderings. 

Check out their first blog post, "FIELD TRIP TO TWO NORTH SHORE RUINS" at: http://2broads1beetle.blogspot.com

MAY IZUMI AT THE HONOLULU PEN WOMEN

Today’s featured speaker was award-winning sculptor MAY IZUMI.

The title of her talk was:

“The Fire Horse’s Granddaughter Goes Looking for Shadows” 

or:

“How I Took My Dark Side Out for Dinner and a Movie”

May creates low-fire ceramic, paper, and polymer clay sculptures that inhabit a distinctly strange world of “not-so-pretty stories.” With her healthy, dark and sensitive sense of humor, May sculpts creatures that emerge allegorically from her childhood memories, research on freak circuses of the 19^th century, and dark fairy tales.

As May showed slides of her work, she shared the stories connected to each piece.  Some were funny, others poignant, all were deeply engaging.  I got so excited I gave her a standing ovation.  

 MAY IZUMI (right) with fellow ceramic artist, ESTHER SHIMAZU (left) 

and mixed media artist SABRA FELDSTEIN (middle)

Below are a few of May's ardent fans.

AFTER THE MEETING

The Honolulu Branch of the National League of American Pen Women holds their meetings at the Pineapple Room at Macy's every month (except during the summer).  We come, we chat, we eat, and listen to a speaker.  When we're done, we leave.  We've done this for years, actually for decades, and it's easy to take things for granted.  We forget how much work goes into the planning and setting up of every meeting.  Board members and Pen Women Friends work without pay, gladly volunteering their talents, time and energy.  Restaurant managers, buyers, delivery people, chefs, wait staff, dishwashers, laundry workers... Many people work behind the scenes to serve us.  After each meeting we simply leave.  Today I stayed behind and took in the room the way it was left.  Take a look.

Here is R.J. who has served us for the last four years

He scrapes the leftovers off every plate into the slop bucket.

Leftover water and tea go into it as well.  Everything edible goes into it, 

including any pineapple chunks and fruits from the bar that were used in drinks.

 

It all goes to feed the pigs.

Thanks, R.J.!

Thank you, wonderful Pineapple Room, for hosting us all those years!

And thank you, Pen Women volunteers for all the great work you do!